Best Bad Sci-Fi Movies: An Interstellar Disgrace

A Note on Scope

Science fiction is the most expensive genre to do well and the most entertaining genre to do poorly. The distance between 2001: A Space Odyssey and Robot Monster is approximately the distance between a doctoral thesis and a napkin drawing. Both are expressions of human imagination. One simply has a larger budget.

The films below represent the full spectrum of sci-fi failure, from multi-million-dollar catastrophes to backyard productions that looked at the night sky and thought, "I can film that with a flashlight."

The Essential Bad Sci-Fi Canon

1. Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957)

Ed Wood's masterpiece is set primarily in a cemetery that is clearly a soundstage with cardboard headstones. The flying saucers are pie plates suspended on visible strings. Bela Lugosi died mid-production and was replaced by a chiropractor who held a cape over his face because he looked nothing like Bela Lugosi. Ed Wood considered this an acceptable solution.

The aliens' plan — resurrecting the dead to prevent humanity from building a weapon that could destroy the universe — is actually more coherent than the plans in most Marvel films. We do not say this lightly.

2. Battlefield Earth (2000)

John Travolta lobbied for fifteen years to adapt L. Ron Hubbard's novel. The result is a film shot entirely in Dutch angles, as though the cinematographer's tripod had a broken leg. Travolta plays a nine-foot alien named Terl who laughs at everything and learns nothing. The film cost $73 million and earned $29 million. Its contribution to cinema is immeasurable.

3. Robot Monster (1953)

The alien Ro-Man — a gorilla in a diving helmet — operates from a cave equipped with a bubble machine and a shortwave radio. He is tasked with destroying humanity. He has destroyed all but eight people. He cannot figure out how to finish the job. One sympathizes.

The film was shot in 3D, in Bronson Canyon, in four days, for approximately $16,000. The director was so devastated by reviews that he attempted to take his own life. This information makes the film considerably less funny but considerably more human.

4. The Room (Turkish Star Wars) (1982)

Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam uses footage stolen directly from Star Wars — actual footage, composited into the film without permission, legal clearance, or shame. The hero defeats the villain using a sword made from a melted brain and a golden lightning bolt. The training montage involves punching rocks. Real rocks.

This film is the reason international copyright law exists in its current form. Probably.

5. Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

Technically a horror film, but the eagles are rendered with special effects so primitive that they qualify as a scientific anomaly. The birds hover in place like screensaver elements before dive-bombing and exploding on impact. Director James Nguyen has stated that this film was inspired by An Inconvenient Truth. Al Gore has not commented.

6. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Martians kidnap Santa Claus because Martian children have been watching Earth television and now want Christmas presents. This premise was greenlit, funded, produced, and released to theaters. The Martians' costumes consist of green paint and what appear to be repurposed football helmets.

7. Morbius (2022)

A film that cost $75 million and was re-released to theaters based on internet memes about "Morbin' Time" — a phrase that does not appear in the film. The re-release earned $85,000. Sony has not disclosed whether this was an intentional experiment in monetizing irony. The results suggest it was not.

8. R.O.T.O.R. (1987)

A robotic police officer is activated prematurely and begins enforcing traffic law with lethal force. The film cannot decide whether it is Robocop, The Terminator, or a workplace comedy about lab technicians. It settles on being none of these things and all of them simultaneously.

9. Mac and Me (1988)

An alien family crash-lands near a McDonald's. This is not a coincidence — the film was co-produced with McDonald's, Coca-Cola, and Skittles. The alien is revived by Coca-Cola. There is an extended dance sequence in a McDonald's. Product placement has never been this honest.

10. Foodfight! (2012)

An animated film about grocery store brand mascots that cost $65 million and looks like it was rendered on hardware from 1997. The film was reportedly stolen during production and had to be reconstructed. One wonders whether the theft was an act of mercy.

11-20: The Extended Orbit

11. Starcrash (1978) — Italian Star Wars starring Caroline Munro and David Hasselhoff. The special effects were described by the director as "poetic." They were not.
12. Ice Spiders (2007) — Giant radioactive spiders attack a ski resort. The spiders ski. This is the film's most subtle creative decision.
13. The Giant Claw (1957) — A giant bird from outer space attacks Earth. The bird puppet looks like a Muppet designed by someone who hates Muppets.
14. Laserblast (1978) — A teenager finds an alien laser gun in the desert. The film was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 as the series finale. They went out on a high note.
15. Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983) — A 3D film starring Peter Strauss and a young Molly Ringwald. The Forbidden Zone looks like a quarry in Southern California because it is a quarry in Southern California.
16. Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990) — Jesse Ventura plays an intergalactic police officer. This was before he became governor. The two career paths are equally improbable.
17. Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983) — A caveman who is actually from the future fights dinosaurs that are actually sock puppets. The twist is that the film is Italian and was edited from a four-hour miniseries into ninety minutes.
18. Space Mutiny (1988) — Filmed on a South African battleship with Battlestar Galactica stock footage. The villain falls over a railing and appears in the next scene, alive and working at his desk.
19. Message from Space (1978) — Japan's answer to Star Wars, featuring a space princess, walnuts with mystical powers, and Vic Morrow looking confused.
20. Galaxina (1980) — Dorothy Stratten plays a robot aboard a police spaceship. The film is a comedy that forgot to include jokes but accidentally included existential dread.

Conclusion

Science fiction's failures are more interesting than most genres' successes. When a filmmaker looks at the cosmos and decides they can replicate it with tin foil and determination, they are engaging in an act of pure, uncut optimism that deserves recognition.

These films reached for the stars. They didn't make it. But the trajectory was magnificent.